Tuesday, August 31, 2010

My dog is scratching furiously at the door

Listening to the soundtrack of "Love Never Dies", the new musical sequal to Phantom of the Opera. I am highly doubtful. Three songs in, I'm still doubtful.

It wasn't such a great night.

I ate hardly anything today. Waffles, a cupcake, a granola bar, a smoothie, and an apple.

Dance starts tomorrow. I. Can't. Wait.

Dad's going camping Sunday night. I really want to go, but then I'd miss my Perspectives class. I could make it up Monday night at the other church...still contemplating this.

Planning on leaving early tomorrow morning to get a bagel and coffee at Panera.

I randomly wished today for the Olympics. I love the Olympics. Can't wait for them to start...but that's like, a year away. :(

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Verging on 90 degrees...


Olivia's List of Favorite Actors (in no particular order)
Entry #2: Johnny Depp
Why? The modern James Dean, Depp doesn't conform to usual acting patterns. He has starred in romance, comedy, drama, horror, musical, and even Disney films. Indie, original, totally cool accent, and not bad looking for an old guy.

So once August is over the birthdays pretty much are, too. We celebrated...seven birthdays this month. And I have two good friends with birthdays in August. Three people at the moment in our house are August babies. Personally, I'm glad I wasn't an August-ie. It's too popular. June is just perfect for me. :) So anyways, we are going tonight to Denver to celebrate my sis's 15th birthday. Pictures will describe our destination better than I can, so be on the look out for those!
Last night I went babysitting for a few hours. On the way home it was dusk and I knew I'd be going home to an empty house, so I decided to drive to our city's little hiking park. There is a great overlook of the city from there and it was indeed beautiful with all the lights and the mountains in the backround. There were a few whispy clouds in the sky, and I felt that if I could fly I would soar up to them and let them rest on my skin. Oh I want to know what a cloud feels like so much!
Still don't have a job. Maybe I'm being lazy on that note...I really wanted to get a job with this one agency, but it hasn't happened and it's sort of an indefinite thing. So I guess I have to fill out more applications. And maybe get a dress-suit for interviews?
Dance starts on Wednesday. I feel like there are million little "dance!" bubbles floating around in me and won't pop away until I start. I've never been this anxious for dance to start! It must be my awesome classmates...I grew so close to them last year and this year I think we'll really feel like a family.
I had a random movie moment pop into my head today as I watched my friend play tennis. Remember from "Napolean Dynamite" where Pedro realizes that his head is hot because of his hair? So he shaves it all off? Yeah, that was my movie moment.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Oh the endless possibilities

Today as I sat in my two hours and twenty long minute French class and realized that I would be spending five hours a week the next nineteen weeks listening to my teacher blabber on in French, a realization struck me. For the next four-six years I would be carrying just as heavy a load of schooling to try and get a four-year degree. And the idea literally made my insides sink. It's not that I try to find no joy in school or that I really do detest homework like I say I do. But would I rather be doing something else? Most definitely. Am I lazy? Maybe. Or maybe I'm not meant to be cooped up in a classroom?
So then I was like, "Ok, what are my other alternatives?" I could come up with two.
One, don't go to college and hope for the best. My first move would be to go onto the missions field, just volunteering wherever and not really spending any money. And maybe do that for the rest of my life? Or if I had to hang out here, just work as a CNA or waitress all my days and bum out with my sister when she gets a place of her own.
OR...I can do what I always was more against doing than anything. Perfect my cooking and cleaning skills, buy a bunch of make up, and go to social events to find myself a nice Christian guy who will support me forever. And thus life will be easy for me as I raise babies and cook dinner.
NOW. Absolutely no offense to any house moms or wives out there. I think motherhood and wifelyhood is fantastic. Especially when those mothers and wives are using those roles God placed them in for His glory. It's just that I can't remember ever in my life wanting to "grow up and get married and have kids". Not even when I was little. Sure, I wouldn't mind if God brought along a Jesus freak dude who would save up to go to Europe with me or throw on a backpack and roadtrip to Mexico. Not someone who gets so caught up in the routine and comfort of American life that we never go out and be disciples and witnesses to those more needy than us. Because that is what I want to do. I believe it is what God is calling me to do. And so be it if I need to take more years of school to do it. Being a self-sufficient young woman can be hard, but so be it.

Monday, August 23, 2010


Olivia's List of Favorite Actors (in no particular order)
Entry #1: James Dean
Why? A legendary classic, didn't conform to the expected "characters" of the time, didn't have his own "shell" or "mold". He was his own person.

Today was my first day of school this semester. I am attending Pikes Peak Community College...Rampart campus. Last semester I went to the Centennial and Downtown campuses, so now I am hitting the last one in the city. The thing I don't like about this campus is that most of the student body is made up of students about my age. I like the atmosphere at the other campuses where a class is made up of people of all ages. In most of my classes last spring I was one of the youngest in the class. That could very easily not be the case at Rampart. Thankfully I am in my longest, hardest class with a good friend of mine. Oh, and that's chemistry. Give me biology or anatomy any day, but chemistry...if this class doesn't transfer to my 4-year school I will literally flip. My other two classes are World History and French (French I am going to tomorrow). It's only three classes but they add up to 13 credit hours, only one less hour than last semester with four classes. And I have a feeling this chemistry class will suck my guts out of me.
Playing phone tag with a potential employer...
It's raining. absolute bliss.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Paradise

How do I imagine paradise? Forests with ground so soft with moss that even a child with tender feet could walk barefoot on it. The water everywhere--rivers, lakes, or ponds--as clear and pure as crystal. When the sun glitters on the water, the pathway of water diamonds feel warm and tingly as you swim through it. I imagine a place with tall mountains covered with green trees and plants of every kind. When you climb to the top of one, the clouds are like cream that you can scoop with your hands and taste. The clouds would taste sweet and cool and soft. Sunsets and sunrises would be beautiful every day with no dark clouds to cover them up. The stars would shine brightly every night and when you look at the sky, you can't tell if there is more dark space or more glittering stars. When it rains the rain isn't too cold to your skin but always a sweet downpour that refreshes rather than drenches. And God's presence could be felt in every place. It would be dense and overwhelming, so much so that it brings every person to their knees in tears of joy.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Babies

I have two thoughts about babies.

1. I don't want them.
2. They are precious.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Bishop Allen - Butterfly Nets

So God does speak to me...

"And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God." ~ Ephesians 3:18-19

Two days ago I was reading a chapter from my current devotional "Completely Irresistible" (by Shannon Ethridge). It was Chapter 16 titled "Live Loved" and dealt with believing (and living out that belief) that God loves every person individually. The author referenced to John, who was referred to very regularly as 'the one Jesus loved'. In this chapter, the author challenged readers to think about how our belief in Jesus' unconditional love affects our lives. She writes, "The God of the universe loves you--passionately, deeply, tenderly, unconditionally. Once you've got that fact firmly rooted and established in your life, it's going to bear fruit."
I don't know how to put it eloquently, but my life does not reflect this amazing love very well at all. And that's because it isn't a truth that I have an easy time believing. You know the feeling when you KNOW something, say...that gravity is holding you down but it's hard to really understand it. It's just a fact to you. That's sort of how the truth of Jesus's love for me is.
As you might imagine, reading that devotional was pretty hard. I kept thinking, "I believe this, I know this, but how do I really KNOW it and reflect it??" Obviously this is a topic God really wanted to pound into my head, because today I opened up my new favorite book "Come Away My Beloved" (Frances J. Roberts. go buy it.) and read this devotional. I am going to post the entire thing, even if it is only for my benefit.
The Blessings of the Pure in Heart
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." - Matthew 5:8
Is not My heart drawn out toward you to bless you? Have I not said that I would shelter and protect you and be your strong support? Yield your whole being to Me. I am your loving Father. I know your need even before it arises. My provisions are not only sure, but also full and overflowing, so that you may confess with the psalmist, "I shall never want." You will see with a vision denied to many, for your heart is pure, and to the pure of heart is given the promise that they shall see God. How much more glorious than to behold the beauty of a thousand sunsets! How much more thrilling than the sight of the fairest faces ever to grace the earth!
Yes, I shall reveal Myself to you and you shall know Me face-to-face, as Moses did. You shall walk with Me and talk with Me, and I will hold your right hand and be a brother and a friend to you. Yes, in joy I will be an added comfort, and in sorry I will be to you the peace that surpasses understanding.
Do not look to people to tell you more about Me. Look to Me directly, for I will reveal Myself to you in a personal way, in ways no other could tell you. I will be as personal and as dear to you as I was to John, the Beloved. I would take you aside as I did Peter and talk to you of things that concern yourself alone. I am not only the God of congregations, but the God of the individual, and I am as concerned for you as I was for Abraham or Joseph or David.
You are never one of many to Me. You are precious and dear to My heart, yes, even as a very special treasure. For I love you more than you can ever comprehend, and I long to gather you in My embrace and hold you close to My heart. Do not hold Me at arm's length because you have a sense of unworthiness. Have you not read that the redeemed are brought near by the blood of Christ? Your sins are not covered; they are washed away! They are not only forgiven: They are forgotten! Don't hold back My love.
Be as the prodigal when embraced by his father. Though he would have resisted for a moment, he swiftly accepted his father's forgiveness and reciprocated his love and affection.
I, too, would bring you into My house and spread for you a feast of blessings and place upon you the garment of praise, the ring of relationship, and the sandals of peace. Come, for all things are prepared for you and nothing shall be denied.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Pray, Love, Eat



Why so serious?



So around the end of May Dad was at his last day of work (he's a math teacher). In the afternoon he walks out to his truck, and this is what he sees. As you can imagine, he is stumped and confused. Nevertheless, he and his co-workers get a kick out of it. Turns out, they come up with this idea that one of the other math teacher's (who was getting married that month) classes meant to decorate HIS truck but mixed it up with my dad's. That afternoon Dad comes home and sits down by me. "Guess what?" he says. "What?" I say. And he proceeds to tell me the story of how his truck got decorated instead of his co-workers. Funny thing is, they didn't do it.
:D :D :D
My friend and I did it. (Let me clarify, though, I am NOT evil or smart enough to have thought of it. It was my friend's idea). So the next couple of months were ones of muffled laughter as we listened to Dad telling everyone about how "stupid high schoolers mixed up my truck with my co-worker's!".
This is where my mom becomes a criminal as well. It was her idea that we re-do it exactly the same on the first day of school this fall. So of course we did! Now it all would have been so perfect if there hadn't been one blunder. See, the poster we used that said "Just Married" was saved after the first time. Mom used it to make a poster for my birthday, and then I again snatched it in case we needed it again. So when we decided to re-do the truck, I re-used the poster. With my name on the back. I'm sure you can use your imagination to guess how events unfolded.
The funniest part about the second time around is that that afternoon my friend (the criminal) got a ride home with my dad. In the truck he decorated. As my dad puts it, it's like in all those shows where the murderer is the first person to go comfort the victim's family. So my friend rode all the way home as he listened to Dad trying to figure out who on earth could have decorated his truck AGAIN!
Thankfully it wasn't until that night that Dad actually noticed the back of the poster. And the rest is pretty much history. Let's just say there was a lot of shock, almost-screaming, and "You're lying!!" and "No way!!!!" happening that night. And of course Dad is on his pay-back streak. So don't be surprised if I don't post for a while...he might hijack my computer to play Miley Cyrus's "The Climb" every time I turn it on. Thus, I would never turn it on.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Happiness is:





"Take these broken wings..."

Less than a week and summer bliss ends. Overall this summer has been rather unproductive. Other than climbing to the top of Pikes Peak for the first time ever (after living at its base for 18 years). And if you count surviving living in a house with six teenage girls for a week an accomplishment, then I now have two to add to the list. Yep, the highlight of the summer was having two Chinese exchange students live with us for three weeks as well as having a good friend from the East Coast come to visit for a week. On top of that, we have an exchange student girl from New Zealand living with us until December. So this summer our family (and house) has been stretched large and we have experienced several different personalities and cultures all at once!
Dad gave me a mission at the beginning of the summer: find scholarships for college. Yeah, I've found them. I just need to do them. And find colleges, as well. This semester for me is going to be jam-packed with research, homework, and lots of decision-making. Which, as those who live with me can tell you, is NOT my strong point.
My sis started her first day of high school yesterday. She didn't come home crying, so that's a big plus! We bought a cupcake for her at a new cupcake shop by the movie theatres--it was cherry Dr. Pepper flavored! Oh gosh, what I wouldn't give to make beautiful cupcakes like that one. But it is my mission to become a cupcake expert! Which is quite a feat at high altitude, let me tell you.
Oh yes! The reason we were by the cupcake shop was because we (Tracey the exchange girl and I) went to see Inception yesterday. Dudes, let me tell you. It was insane. I didn't walk out as confused as I thought I would be. It just...makes you think. And wish that you dreamed more. I don't remember my dreams anymore. Well, rarely. I only seem to remember bits of dreams that relate to people or events that are real in my life now. But after the movie, Tracey made the remark that what if we are all living in a dream now without realizing it? In a way, we sort of are living in a dream. If Heaven is my real "home" and should be my reality, then life on Earth is like a visit in a dream. Except that what we do and believe on Earth matters in Heaven.
I should have been writing some of my scholarship essay right now but I wasn't. So ha. Not really ;) I'm not a major procrastinator. Just a minor one.