I will not be a Taylor Swift

One of the things that annoys me most about Taylor Swift's music is that the only songs that must be good enough for the radio stations to play over and over and over again are her songs about a boy who likes a girl other than herself and why he should like her instead.

Lord, I never want to be like that.

Completely unrelated to the above thoughts, one of my life questions is this: How often do we "choose" a mate or spouse or even just dating partner based on ethnicity or cultural back round?  The concept of similar attraction says that according to sociological study, most likely people will be attracted to and likely end up with those who are similar to them.  In white, Christian, middle-class Colorado Springs this whole aspect of relationships (not even just romantic ones, even friendships) doesn't really cross one's mind because there is no variety.  But living on the most diverse [Christian] college campus in the country, this question really interests me!  I can probably count on my two hands how many couples I know of who are not of the same ethnicity.

What is it about being more similar to someone than not that is such a huge driving factor in our relationships?  Do we simply not like to have friends who are different from us?  Is it too uncomfortable, too hard?  Would I have just as much fun hanging out with someone who wasn't white than someone who is?  Would I ever be able to relate in any way to someone who grew up in the Bronx?  What different methods would we have to use to get to know someone of a different back round from ourselves?

Or am I just thinking about it too much?

Thy will be done...

The other day I said to my friend, "I am never getting married!!!!!!!!!" and she said back to me, "Don't speak that over yourself or it will become true!"

Tonight I was pondering her statement...wondering if I agree or not.  At first, I would say, "No, God will determine whether or not something happens in my life no matter what my attitude is about it."  So I can say, "I am never getting married" but maybe God says, "Oh yes you are."

But then again, if I live my life everyday with the mindset, "I am never going to eat fruit," I can probably get away without ever eating fruit.  No one can force a banana down my throat.  Yes, God technically could force me to eat fruit, but would He?

And if I make a decision and decide to live my life based on it, will He change my mind?

I know He has done so in the past.  People tell stories and testimonies all the time of how God changed them.

But what about free will?  What limits has been placed on our ability to make our own decisions?  Are we limited to absolute free will only to a certain extent?  Then when it comes to bigger things that actually matter, God holds the reigns?  Or will He have His way no matter what our attitude?  Or does He let us live in our own will, living and learning from our decisions?

OR, do we need to choose to live according to His will to actually live according to His will?

It's just that I see so many people who never come to know the Lord, no matter how much we pray, love on them, and show them what it can mean to truly walk with God.  Is it God's will that they never accept Him, or is it theirs?  If it is their will not to accept Him, is He allowing them to live in their will as opposed to His own?  Unless it is His will that they don't accept Him.....???  Too scared to ponder that thought.

Is this even about wills at all?

What was my original question???

I know why the caged bird sings...

Today it struck me how sad it is when you go to pet stores and see birds cooped up in a cage, those absolutely beautiful wings held back as they waddle around on their little legs.  Birds were made to fly. 

I wish I was a bird.

Classes start tomorrow.  It's the start of a new school year, and already I can tell it might be very different.  Or very similar to last year.  I want it to be different though.  In many, many ways...

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus...you can have all this world, but give me Jesus...